Posts Tagged ‘animals’

This is a story my dad told us when we were kids.  Somehow, I don’t think it’s true, but ah well, it does explain things…

Once upon a time there was an important meeting held at the council hall for all dogs to attend.  Dogs turned up from all over the world, and on arriving at the conference they were asked to take off their butts and  hang them on a peg in the foyer.  The meeting was halfway through when the building’s fire alarm suddenly went off.  Blind panic ensued, and the dogs raced out of the building, quickly grabbing any butt they could find as they passed through the foyer.

Once they were all safely out, they began to realise that they didn’t have their own butt.  From that time onwards, whenever a dog meets another dog, he checks to see if that dog is wearing his original, wayward behind.

The End (hey, that’s a pun!)

No thanks

My life is so boring and every day is much like the other, to the extent where I open my eyes in the morning and think to myself  ‘Groundhog Day!’  But Groundhog Day really took a turn for the worse last night.  I’d been up playing online poker in the hope that I’d push myself over the one million chip mark.  I’d had to hold my eyes open with matchsticks for the last two hours as each time my chip count was just short of the million target I’d set myself before I went to bed.  Finally, at 2am I made it past a million, and promptly closed my laptop and staggered into bed.

Our bedroom resembled a homeless shelter – Brenna, Maddy and the two dogs were all sleeping on a pile of blankets on the floor in our room after hearing a scary story earlier.  Bobbie was the only one to wake as I crept into the room – it was quite cute – Banjo had his leg over Bobbie as though he was cuddling him like a teddy bear.

I crawled into bed, turned off the lamp, struggled with my usual insomnia despite being bone weary, and eventually started to drift off to sleep.  I was awoken by a strange sound, and my foggy mind tried to make sense of the sound which I can’t even begin to describe.  I finally realised it was the damn dog vomiting.  I sprang up, switched on the lamp, to find Bobbie vomiting on the floor.  Brenna woke up and cleaned it up, and we all went back to bed.  I couldn’t sleep though so fetched my laptop and spent another couple of hours working.

So, finally, around 5am, I decided I’d better get at least a couple hours sleep, and closed the laptop up.  I lay there  for a half hour or so before I started drifting off – only to hear the vomiting noise from hell again.  Didn’t this just happen?! Springing into action, this time it was Banjo – a much bigger dog so potentially a much bigger mess.  He vomited next to my side of the bed (I spotted grass and a big stone in his puke – what on earth does that dog eat!), and Maddy’s carpet copped another lot.

Groundhog day – two lots of dropping off to sleep, two lots of vomiting just as I’d finally  fallen asleep.  The dogs are perfectly fine now – I don’t know what had gotten into them.

OMG what a pallaver! We bought Banjo a special lead thing which goes over the muzzle and is supposed to control his head – he hated it. Between Ben and I, it took us ten minutes of wrestling with Banjo just to get the thing on. Ben took Banjo up and down the alleyway next to our house, and Banjo struggled with the muzzle the entire time. He managed to pull it off a number of times, and refused to budge. Ben tried to drag on the lead and the whole thing, much to Banjo’s happiness, came right off. Banjo was able to twist his head around and tried to chew on the straps which came from the muzzle part – doubt if they’re going to last long.

So I got my exercise just trying to put the stupid thing on the dog. I’m not sure what the next stage will be. Just thinking about it is exhausting!