Archive for the ‘Maddy-isms’ Category
Bribery Island

Bribie Island aka 'Bribery' Island
Maddy is going to Bribie Island with her uncle Dave this weekend, and is all excited. She said to Ben “Ben! I need a suitcase to take to Bribery Island!”
So he gave her a knapsack to take to ‘Bribery’ Island, and she began to look through her drawers in her bedroom for clothes to take.
“Hmmm…” she said to herself, “Some of these clothes I got years ago but they still fit because I’m so small… I’ll take that as a compliment to myself!”
Peace according to Maddy
There’s a book fair on this week at school, and I gave Maddy two $10 notes to take as she’s got her eye on a special notebook and pencils for sale there. She told me that they’re only allowed to take $10 at a time, so I suggested she leave one $10 note at home and bring it the next day. This is the conversation that followed:
Maddy: No, I’ll keep it in my wallet.
Me: I wouldn’t do that – someone might try to steal it.
Maddy: No, I’m not worried about that. They won’t.
Me: Well, it’s happened before, kids taking money out of other people’s wallets.
Maddy: They won’t steal it from mine – it’s got a peace sign on it.
Me: Erm, what’s that got to do with anything? That won’t stop them.
Maddy: Ohhh, yes it will Mum, believe me.
Me: How will a peace sign stop people from stealing money out of your wallet?
Maddy: Because people are afraid of it.
Me: What?!
Maddy: Peace signs scare people.
Me: What do you mean ‘peace signs scare people’???!!!
Maddy: People are afraid of it.
Me: But why do you think that?
Maddy: There was a kid at school who had a hat with a peace sign on it. Another kid came up, took one look at it, and ran away scared.
Me: Riiiiight……
Maddy: So my money will be safe in my wallet.
Me: O—-kay then…
You die instantly unless…
MADDY: “Did you know that there are two places on your body, that if you get shot there, you will die instantly?”
BEN: “Where, Maddy?”
MADDY: “Your head & your neck – you will die instantly if you get shot there.”
BEN: “Not necessarily, I’ve heard of people who’ve been shot in the head or the neck and survived.”
MADDY: “No, Ben. (humouring his ignorance!) That’s just what you see in movies – in real life if you get shot in the head or the neck, you will always die instantly….(thinks for a moment)…unless you can get to a hospital.”
I was finished the first draft, but then I decided to torment my characters even more, and I'm adding an extra couple of scenes.